


painted with blood of somebody you love

by orphan_account



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: (if you ignore some of it heh), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:53:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25964671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Eiji screamed.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 9
Kudos: 100





	painted with blood of somebody you love

**Author's Note:**

> HI PLEASE READ THE TAGS.  
> also if there are any tags you think i should add to this!! this is my first time posting on here so im not so sure abt it!

“You’re disgusting.” 

“God, what a freak.”

“Please stop. Please don’t touch me, please I can’t do it. PLEASE,” Eiji screamed. He bolted up in bed, panting. He lifted a hand to his chest and whipped his head around to face Ash’s bed, hoping he hadn’t woken the younger up. Eiji let out a sigh of relief when Ash seemed to still be asleep. Eiji lifted the blanket off himself and got up, quickly walking to the bathroom. 

Once he closed the door, he leaned against it and slid down, burying his face in his knees. Sobs were threatening to tear out of his mouth. He could still feel the hands touching him, could still feel the pain. He could still feel the blood, the weight of Shorter’s body on top of him. The panic he felt, remembering even then how it felt. He dug his nails into his thighs and lifted his head to stare at the shower, wondering if it would be a bad idea to take one at this time. Not that he actually looked at the time, in such a rush to hide himself. Eiji sighed and stood up, walking to the shower and turning it as hot as he possibly could. He slowly stepped into the shower and sat on the ground, not even bothering to take his clothes off. He just wanted to feel clean again. Just wanted to feel safe again. Tears ran down his face, indistinguishable from the scalding water running down his face.

‘Is this what Ash felt?’ He asked himself. He buried his face into his knees again, muffling the cries breaking out of his mouth. His skin was turning red, his eyes getting puffy from crying. He scratched at himself, blunt nails leaving welts on his arms and legs. His cries only grew louder, probably waking Ash, but he couldn’t hold them in, just hoping the shower would dampen the sound. He took a deep breath, burying his face further into his knees and laying his hands on the floor of the shower. 

His head whipped up, hearing a soft knock on the door, “Eiji? Eiji, it's late. What's wrong? Are you alright?” Eiji panicked at the sound of Ash’s voice, quickly turning the shower off and cursing himself for not thinking to bring different clothes in with him. He grabbed a towel and quickly stripped his wet clothes off, throwing them in the laundry and hoping Ash wouldn’t say anything. Turning towards the door, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, wincing at how red his skin had turned, how puffy and tired his eyes looked. He stared at himself in the mirror for a moment longer, seeing the welts and scratches he left. Luckily he hadn’t scratched hard enough to make himself bleed, but they were still very obvious. He couldn’t take his eyes off the mirror, breathing growing faster, tears welled up in his eyes again at the thought of Ash seeing him like this. 

“Eiji please, are you okay? I know you’re in there.” Ash pleaded. Eiji started to panic, he couldn’t let Ash see him like this, couldn’t let anyone see him like this. Ash banged on the door, begging Eiji to at least say something, let him know he was okay. Eiji said nothing, too wrapped up in his thoughts. 

Ash banged on the door harder, and Eiji heard a crack. He scrambled to cover up, not wanting Ash to see him this vulnerable. Ash rushed in, his eyes darting all around, before landing on Eiji. 

“Eiji! Eiji are you okay? What’s wrong?” Ash hurriedly said. Eiji reached a hand to his face, trying to wipe away the tears that wouldn’t stop escaping his eyes. 

“I’m okay Ash, really, it was just a stupid nightmare. I just needed to get the sweat off me,” Eiji laughed nervously, hoping Ash would look past the obvious lies in his voice for once. “It was stupid, I promise.” Ash narrowed his eyes, lowering himself into a crouch next to Eiji. 

“Eiji, you’re obviously not okay. Just tell me, please.” Ash said. Eiji glanced toward him, seeing the hope in his eyes. But he couldn’t do that to Ash. He couldn’t let Ash know what happened, he knew Ash blamed himself for Shorter’s death already, he couldn’t let him blame himself for this too, when everything was Eiji’s fault. 

“It’s okay,” Eiji’s voice cracked. “I promise everything is okay.” Tears fell faster from his eyes. He brought a hand up to his face to muffle the sobs, but Ash caught the hand in his and held it to his chest. 

“Hey, Eiji,” He said softly. “It’s okay, I promise, you just have to talk to me okay? Just breathe.” Eiji looked up at Ash, feeling his heartbeat under his hand. It calmed him slightly, and he didn’t quite know why. 

“I’m- it’s- I’m okay Ash really,” He breathed out. “Just.. A bad nightmare.” Eiji sniffed, taking his hand away from Ash’s chest and scrubbing it across his eyes. Ash lowered himself, sitting down in front of Eiji and laying a hand on his shoulder. He brought his other hand to Eiji’s face, lifting it to face him and rubbing his thumb across Eiji’s cheek. Ash sighed, and Eiji’s eyes grew wider, staring at his face. The absolute love and adoration in Ash’s eyes shocked him.  
“Please, Eiji? I won’t ask again if you really don’t want to tell me just.. I want you to be okay, you know? I can’t help you if you don’t, but if you can’t right now, it’s alright.” Ash said softly, staring into Eiji’s eyes. Eiji’s breath stuttered, breathless at how much Ash seemed to care for him. He leaned forward, burying his face in Ash’s chest and taking a deep breath. Ash wrapped his arms around him and squeezed once, attempting to tell him everything would be okay without speaking. 

“I just.. Well.. Uhm,” He stuttered out. “At Dino’s..” He paused when he felt Ash’s breath stutter, and felt his arms tighten around him. Eiji looked up at him, trying to determine if it would be okay, but Ash just shook his head and told him to keep talking. Eiji took another deep breath.

“When.. At Dino’s, before, Shorter.. They said- they said they were going to make me go through.. What you went through.” Eiji said, burying his face further into Ash’s chest. “And then, well,” He nervously laughed. “They did, I guess.”

“That’s why.. When I saw you again, your eyes.. They looked so empty..” Ash breathed out. “Eiji I’m, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Eiji.” Eiji lifted his head, hearing a sob leave the younger's mouth. His eyes widened, bringing a hand to Ash’s face and attempting to wipe away the tears.

“No.. Ash it’s, not your fault. I’m sorry I knew I shouldn’t have told you I-”

“STOP.” Ash yelled. “Don’t act like it’s your fault either. If anything it’s His fault. Okay?” He takes a deep breath. “Sorry for yelling.” Eiji slid his hand down to Ash’s shoulder, taking his other arm and wrapping them around Ash. Ash squeezed his own arms around Eiji, burning his face in his shoulder. 

“Ash..” Eiji breathed out. Ash hummed out a noise of acknowledgement. “Thank you Ash. I love you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A shot rang through the air, Eiji’s vision went white. All he felt was pain.

**Author's Note:**

> hii- this is honestly the first fanfic i've written in.. 4 years? just about. i know it isnt good, and i know im not very good at writing lmao. maybe i'll continue this one day? i kinda left it open ended.. it could end the same way as the anime, or it could have a completely different ending that i could write later, that was kinda the point.


End file.
